With the unfaltering understanding and completely non judgemental attitudes of my counsellor, Dr Vinaya……helped me put the pieces of my life together

 Counseling has been such an enriching experience! Yet when I attempt to put down in writing what the process did for me, I don’t quite know where to begin. 

It was at one of those coffee breaks at the work place when a friend casually mentioned that she was undergoing counseling. As I was to learn later during my own counseling sessions, there is a reason for everything that happens in the universe. This chat with my friend was a precursor of things to come. Barely a few weeks later, my very carefully constructed world came crashing down. I blindly turned to my friend and told her to take me to her counselor. She did. Thus began a journey I have now come to cherish. A journey that took me into myself – a place I had not been to before. It was anything but a joyride. But with the unfaltering understanding and the completely non-judgmental attitude of my counselor, Vinaya, as my crutches, I managed to hang in there. Bit by bit, she helped me put back the pieces of my life together. She helped me gain insights into my behaviour patterns and “see” why I was behaving in ways that were more disruptive than helpful. Together we unearthed some of my belief systems that had been leading me to behave in ways that were unpleasant. And when I saw why I was doing what I was doing, I knew that I simply had to change.

And change I did. Now when I look back, I feel that the change happened so very subtly, without my even knowing it. This was obviously thanks to Vinaya’s skills, her gentle but firm approach, the deftness with which she used the theories and processes inherent to counseling, the shrewdness coupled with extreme practicality with which she taught me to deal with situations – all of which helped me understand myself.

This improved vision that I had of myself also meant that I got to see better, literally. For years, I had been a slave to high powered contact lenses (I was very short sighted). As a child, I had been diagnosed with glaucoma, an eye condition whereby the pressure in the eyes increases to the extent that it affects vision. And glaucoma is known to eventually lead to blindness. Since I had contracted the disease very early in life (I was 12 when it was detected), the chances of my becoming blind at an early age too were pretty high. To make matters worse, I developed cataract in both my eyes when I stepped into my thirties. So there I was, blindly walking towards blindness, with no clue as to what to do about it except follow the doctor’s advice to the T. Sure, a doctor’s prescriptions do help, but as I now know, they only deal with the surface condition. It needs to be coupled with therapy to get to the real reason behind the ailment and when that happens, you do heal.

Vinaya taught me that real power, real vision, lies behind the eyes, not within the eyes. It is the way we look at life, at ourselves, at the significant others in our life, which determines how well we can see.  
As I’ve said earlier, the events in our lives take place in an order that is predestined, in an order that defies human logic. As things turned out, the surgery to remove the cataract in my eyes was scheduled shortly after my therapy sessions concluded. I must confess that though I did believe that therapy had enriched my life, I still did not realize the full extent to which it had. This is something I “saw” only after my surgery.

I say this because my vision has never been as good as it is now. My power has come down to -1 from -12 in one eye and -15 in the other. I can now see clearly without any visual aids. It is only in very poor light, if at all, that I need to put on my glasses. And all this I attribute wholly to the fact that the lady who walked into the operation theatre was a very different person from the lady who’d been groping her way through life before she went in for therapy. It was a new me who walked out from the operation theatre!

Just as it is a new me who drives a car with considerable ease today. I had undertaken driving lessons on two occasions many years earlier. Once the lessons were done, however, my driving was also done. I never ever sat behind the wheel again. Why would I? I did not have control over my life, did not have a sense of direction and instead was letting all my debilitating beliefs rule my life. But now, I do know better. I know what it is that I want from myself. I have a far greater sense of control and power over myself. Sure, I will make my mistakes. I am human after all. But I do know that I will learn from my mistakes and only move forward. Naturally, this time after I finished with my formal driving lessons, I continued to drive and even enjoy the experience.

I did start by saying that I did not know where to begin. Having started however, I am loathe to stop. There’s still a lot more for me to say about the process of therapy and what it has done for me. But no matter how much I speak and what I may say, you will have to undergo the process to be able to fully appreciate what it can do for you. It is not as if counseling has to be resorted to only in an attempt to deal with debilitating physical or emotional traumas. The process in fact equips you with the life skills that will enable you to function from a higher level even when dealing with simple everyday situations and issues. 

I will always be very grateful to her ( Dr Vinaya) for teaching me to get in touch with myself and be happy

I had tried a million diets and was not able to lose my weight. As a last resort I tried counseling. Initially I thought it was an expensive proposition but I convinced myself that I was worth it. I spent many sessions wondering why she was addressing everything except my weight. I went for one session a week and did the exercises which Vinaya told me to. 

Initially nothing happened. But slowly I started to feel alive. I realized that I was living a life that was not my story. It belonged to the dos and don’ts of the world. I started re- discovering myself through counseling.
In the process I was able to sustain my exercise as well as choose to eat healthy food. I never felt that I was sacrificing anything. As I felt alive my need for food decreased. I was able to make clearer decisions, because they came from my soul and not from the programming of my mind. Even today I am able to take better decisions because I have learned that what is best for me makes me feel happy. I learned to throw false burdens which I chose to carry, when I realized that the world has its own axis and I need not support it !
I check my happiness indicator to check for good decisions. Over the period of counseling for a year and a half my pay check doubled, I bought a car, I had more friends, I learned to live independently, and I lost 30 kilos.

My friends who had not seen me in a year said that I had changed for the better. They said that there was a confidence that I had an air of being happy and free.

I think that all of us must have this experience. It is one of the most thrilling adventures of one’s life to discover oneself and be able to have the freedom to choose to be happy.

I am not sure of whether Vinaya knows what she has done for me! Beauty can never appreciate itself. But I will always be very grateful to her for teaching me to get in touch with myself and be happy because when you just are, there is no other way to be. Thanks Vinaya. 

I would like to thank Dr Vinaya Prabha for…. showing me various ways of generating enough amount of energy for myself in order to face the world and future with open arms. With her I understood what is true meaning of passion ,motivation ,and how important it is to befriend yourself first.

Talking to her was like learning to look at things(issues) with another dimension where many possibilities exist…. well things don’t end here…if I’m to write i may write this stuff forever…”

I was a completely distraught person, confused and disoriented at the happenings in my life…Today I am doing well not only in my job, but also in my relationships with near and dear ones

I was under pressure to perform in the office and there was even more pressure at home. There were pressures from all directions at all times of the day – unrelenting and threatening to break me into pieces.

I was struggling to cope with these pressures. I was not sure of myself, and was almost a withdrawn person. I was badly in need of some help. When i was looking for the help on the web, i found Dr.Vinaya Prabha’s website which said that help is available in the form of counseling – face to face or on-line or through e-mail. I was not sure what awaited me when i first called her. I decided to try and it was only the first session that i went reluctantly. I found her to be a genuine person, a highly qualified psychologist, and an experienced professional councellor. After the first session, i used to eagerly look forward for the counseling sessions.

She was very professional in helping me to open up and discuss what was happening in my mind, and how i chose to react to situations. She helped me understand myself better. I realised that i was in the centre of all that has happened in my life. It took about six months for me to feel that a new person has emerged out of me – much more confident in facing the world with much less internal drag of negative emotions. Surely, it has made significant positive effects on my work performance. Today i am doing well not only in my job, but also in my relationships with near and dear ones. At the end of it, i feel, it was a worth going through the counseling to become a new ME. I can now face the world better. Thanks, Doctor. ………